Here is a little insight into our lives...though we might seem normal, I assure you that we are completely nuts.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
feeling emotional
Parenting is most certainly the hardest thing...and we have to do it all the time. I love the baby stage and I am learning how hard it is to have my girls grow up into little women. I have a hard time letting the reality of this harsh world smack them in the face. I just want them to live in Strawberryland where everyone is friendly. I can not stand to think of the obscene things Ivy hears and sees in middle school daily. I don't like to think of my kid's teachers not thinking my child is as special as she really is. I don't want their creative spirits to be stunted. BUT - sometimes I feel lost. I don't know what to say or do to get through to them. Do i need to just accept the fact they won't do what I need them to do? You know when parents say "This hurts me more than it hurts you" I feel that a lot. I do not want contention in my home. I do not want to 'butt heads' with my kiddos. I know at times its inevitable, but why can't we slide on rainbows more often? Maybe its a side effect of school starting this week. Its been a change for us all. I have a hard time choosing my battles. Which one do I choose? Can i get more than one......or should I back off? Maybe its because we have had a crazy year. Moving out, staying with another (great) family, moving in, new baby, hard family times, crazy friend stuff going on??? I don't know. I want to have a home where the spirit dwells. I want to have home where we speak kindly to one another. I don't want to argue with my husband....I love him and don't want to waste our time being dumb and selfish. We know too many people whose marriage fell apart and I need to show my gratitude for my marriage more. I'm just trying to do what is right. I know mistakes will be made along the way, but its hard to swallow at times. I don't want my kids to feel like I'm hounding them all the time. I want them to learn though! Where is the balance???
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Wow, Jen. That is a LOT of feelings in one little post. You are SO not alone! I was just reading a talk by President Hinckley. He quoted a single mother, but we also get weary from our family struggles, even though they are different from hers.
“As I turned around to walk back home, I could see my house lighted up. I could hear echoes of my children as I had walked out of the door a few minutes earlier: ‘Mom, what are we going to have for dinner?’ ‘Can you take me to the library?’ ‘I have to get some poster paper tonight.’ Tired and weary, I looked at that house and saw the light on in each of the rooms. I thought of all of those children who were home waiting for me to come and meet their needs. My burdens felt very heavy on my shoulders.
“I remember looking through tears toward the sky, and I said, ‘Oh, my Father, I just can’t do it tonight. I’m too tired. I can’t face it. I can’t go home and take care of all those children alone. Could I just come to You and stay with You for just one night? I’ll come back in the morning.’
“I didn’t really hear the words of reply, but I heard them in my mind. The answer was, ‘No, little one, you can’t come to me now. You would never wish to come back. But I can come to you.’ ”
The last line really stood out to me. All we can do as mothers is our best, and then we have to invite Heavenly Father into our home to cover the rest.
Post a Comment